Mid-March New Zealand went into a strict COVID-19 Level 4 lockdown, the likes of which are rarely seen in democratic nations. Except for essential workers, citizens were confined to their homes, allowed only to move to purchase groceries or gain some fresh air within their immediate neighbourhood. And I mean immediate. On one of my seldom forays into a neighbouring street I observed someone running energetically back and forth between two driveways.
When one did chance to meet another human being, we gave each other a wide berth, avoided eye contact, and didn't even mumble a half-hearted hello. Even for an introvert like myself, this was difficult to stomach. On the days that DH had to work, I longed for some human interaction - even just someone waving from the opposite side of the street. But it was not to be.
Our government's rhetoric originally was to "flatten the curve" in order to allow our health system to cope with the numerous cases of COVID-19. That has happened, but now the goal has changed - without the consent of the voting public - to "eliminate" the virus. Whether that's even possible I don't know. If it does occur, then millions of New Zealanders will be particularly vulneranle when the borders are reopened and we are able to travel overseas because with cases still less than 2 000, few of us will have any immunity. Only time will tell whether it was a wise strategy or not.
Despite some feeling relief when the announcement was made that as a nation we would move from Level 4 to Level 3 - it has proved to be essentially Level 4 for those who are not in the subgroup of workers who can return to work safely and maintain social distancing, or, who, like myself, are in the education sector. Stores can now sell goods online and fast food can be purchased by drive-through or delivery options. Mostly, children are still being schooled from home unless their parents have returned to work, and many businesses are still closed nation-wide with employers casting ever increasingly worried eyes at the economy. Elective surgery is still cancelled, doctors first interview patients via telephone before seeing them in person, couriers drop packages a safe distance from the front door, and people wear masks and slather on hand sanitiser the way we used to pour on the sunscreen lotion. We have drive-through medical clinics; we cannot shop in person for items from carpet to furniture to plants to paint to cars to household appliances to buttons to fabric to jewellery to clothes to whatever else you might fancy; and we have essentially become a population that avoids social interaction outside our own four walls.
Unless we have a real need, we stay at home.
But as with everything, there is another side. There are those who have had enough of being confined who are deliberately breaking the rules and potentially putting others at risk. There are businesses and employers who are creatively interpreting the rules and ignoring their responsibilities to employees and customers alike.
On my part, moving to Level 3 was when things really started to get ugly.
Son#2, writing for our church's Facebook page, penned these words which mirrored what I had already observed in my own life:
What lockdown has revealed is how much of a sinner I am and how I can't do anything in my own strength.
What lockdown has revealed …
What lockdown has revealed to me is … that my excuses for lack of time for really reading and studying the Word and praying are just that - excuses.
What lockdown has revealed to me is … that I fill my time with other things to ignore the still small voice within.
What lockdown has revealed to me is … that I use human relationships to fill the desire in my soul for deep and intimate knowing of the One true God.
What lockdown has revealed to me is … that I am selfish … self-centered …. impatient …. resentful … judgemental … jealous ...
What lockdown has revealed to me is … that I am a sinner.
And that's just the start of it. The rest is too ugly to share.
Level 3 has been difficult for me. I am one of only four teachers back at work. I'm working more hours at home and at centre than usual and when I look at those who are not yet working, I feel … resentful. The procedures we have to go through to keep our workplace and homes safe create more work and anxiety. I'm frustrated. Angry even.
And since there are only two in our bubble, I wouldn't be at all surprised if there have been many days when DH has wondered why on earth he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me in the first place!
This morning our pastor reminded us that when we face trials what is deep inside us is what will come out.
Ouch.
Despite having it fairly easy during this crisis compared to others (and I love what I read the other day about how we are all in the same storm but we are not all in the same boat - and my boat has been far more watertight and seaworthy than some), what has surfaced has been not exactly pretty.
Thankfully, our God does not leave us in our sin. He sent His Son to redeem all mankind. Jesus paid the price for our sins.
And, as if that wasn't enough, He began a good work in us to change us into His likeness.
As I was struggling with my thoughts and emotions earlier in the week, God reminded me that what I saw as inequity was an opportunity for me to serve Him. Instead of being resentful because my workload had significantly increased, I could ask Him how I could be of service for Him in the avenues that had now opened. Perhaps He had a work for me to do if only I was willing and available.
Ouch! (Again.)
While writing this post, DH reminded me that there are now signs that autumn has finally arrived downunder. As leaves change colour and fall from the trees and die, and plants prepare for dormancy over winter, it can sometimes be difficult to remember that this, too, is part of the plan, and that, here, too, wondrous things are happening that may not be evident until a later season.
The same can be true for us. There is an ugly side - I certainly have been made aware of my own ugly side during this lockdown period - but there is also a God who has made me a new creation through His Son and is slowly but surely moulding me into the woman of God that He has planned for me to be since before the world began.
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His abundant mercy has begotten us again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead (1 Peter 1:3, NKJV) … being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ (Philippians 1:6, NKJV).
